Infertility Debunked: Separating Fact from Fiction | Borneo Hospital Guide

The journey towards parenthood is deeply personal and often filled with hope. However, when conception doesn’t happen as easily as expected, couples often find themselves navigating not only medical challenges but also a sea of misinformation, old wives’ tales, and societal pressures surrounding infertility. These myths, unfortunately common in India and around the world, can cause significant emotional distress, unnecessary guilt, and crucially, delay couples from seeking timely and appropriate medical help.

My name is Dr. Vrushali Pillai, and as a Senior Consultant Obstetrician & Gynaecologist at Borneo Hospital, Thane – part of the Borneo Hospitals group serving families across Thane, Nashik, Chhatrapati Sambhaji Nagar, and Raipur City – my priority is always the health and well-being of both mother and child. Providing evidence-based care starts with dispelling harmful myths. Our commitment extends to supporting couples facing fertility challenges with both medical expertise and compassionate understanding.

This article aims to tackle some of the most persistent myths about infertility head-on. Our goal is Infertility Debunked: replacing fiction with fact, reducing stigma, and guiding couples towards reliable information and effective care. Understanding the truth is the first step towards navigating your fertility journey with clarity and confidence.

Why Do These Myths Persist?

Misinformation about infertility often thrives due to a combination of factors: the sensitive, emotional nature of the topic which makes open discussion difficult; deep-rooted cultural beliefs and societal expectations; the ease with which unverified information spreads online and through word-of-mouth; and sometimes, a lack of accessible, easy-to-understand medical facts.

Common Infertility Myths Debunked

Let’s analyse some common beliefs and replace them with scientific reality:

Myth 1: Infertility is Primarily a Woman’s Problem.

• The Myth: “If a couple is struggling to conceive, the issue must lie with the woman.”
• The Facts: Completely False. Infertility is very much a couple’s issue. Medical studies consistently show that factors contributing to infertility are roughly equally distributed: about one-third are attributed primarily to female factors, one-third primarily to male factors, and the remaining one-third involve a combination of issues from both partners or remain unexplained after initial testing.
• The Harm: This outdated belief places immense and unfair social pressure, blame, and emotional burden specifically on women. It critically delays correct diagnosis and treatment because the male partner’s fertility might not be investigated promptly, or at all.
• The Correct Approach: A comprehensive fertility evaluation must always involve both partners from the very beginning. At Borneo Hospital, we always recommend and facilitate couple-based assessment.

Myth 2: Stress Causes Infertility / “Just Relax and It Will Happen.”

• The Myth: “You’re trying too hard / You’re too stressed. Just relax and stop thinking about it, then you’ll get pregnant.”
• The Facts: Whilst extreme, chronic stress can potentially disrupt hormone levels and menstrual cycles, everyday stress is not considered a primary cause of infertility for most couples who have underlying medical reasons (like blocked tubes, ovulation disorders, or sperm issues). In reality, the situation is often reversed: the struggle with infertility is a major source of stress, rather than stress being the primary cause of the infertility.
• The Harm: This advice, though often well-intentioned, dismisses potentially serious medical conditions. It invalidates the couple’s real emotional pain and can induce guilt, making them feel their stress is preventing pregnancy.
• The Correct Approach: Managing stress is important for overall well-being during this challenging time, using healthy coping mechanisms. However, it is crucial to seek medical evaluation to identify and treat any underlying biological causes of infertility. Relaxation alone is very unlikely to resolve a significant fertility problem.

Myth 3: Trying Harder (Having Sex More Often) Will Solve the Problem.

• The Myth: “Just increase the frequency of intercourse, and pregnancy is bound to happen.”
• The Facts: Conception requires the meeting of healthy sperm and a healthy egg during the woman’s fertile window (usually the 5-6 days leading up to and including ovulation). Having intercourse very frequently outside this specific window doesn’t increase the chances and can lead to exhaustion and pressure. More importantly, if there is an underlying barrier – such as blocked fallopian tubes, lack of ovulation, or significant male factor issues – increasing intercourse frequency will not overcome these biological hurdles.
• The Harm: Turns intimacy into a stressful, performance-oriented task, potentially straining the couple’s relationship. Leads to repeated disappointment and frustration when pregnancy doesn’t occur.
• The Correct Approach: Learn to identify the fertile window (using methods like tracking cycles or ovulation predictor kits) and focus intercourse during that time if desired. If conception doesn’t happen within the recommended timeframe (1 year for women <35, 6 months for women 35+), seek medical investigation.

Myth 4: Age Only Affects Female Fertility.

• The Myth: “It’s only the woman’s age that matters for having babies.”
• The Facts: While it’s true that female fertility declines more significantly with age, particularly after 35 (due to decreasing egg quantity and quality), male fertility is not ageless. Advanced paternal age (often considered over 40 or 45) is associated with a gradual decline in semen parameters (volume, motility), an increase in sperm DNA fragmentation, and a slightly higher risk of certain genetic conditions in offspring.
• The Harm: Fails to consider the male partner’s age as a potential contributing factor, leading to an incomplete picture during evaluation.
• The Correct Approach: A comprehensive fertility assessment considers factors related to both partners, including age.

Myth 5: If You Have One Child Already, You Can’t Have ‘Infertility’.

• The Myth: “You were able to get pregnant before, so getting pregnant again should be easy/you can’t be infertile now.”
• The Facts: False. Secondary infertility – defined as the inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after having successfully given birth previously – is a common issue. Circumstances can change: age increases, new health conditions may develop in either partner (e.g., thyroid issues, diabetes, endometriosis progression, decline in sperm quality), complications from the previous pregnancy or delivery could have occurred, or weight might have changed significantly.
• The Harm: Couples may feel confused or ashamed, and delay seeking help because they assume it ‘should’ be straightforward. This prolongs the time taken to get a diagnosis and treatment if needed.
• The Correct Approach: If you are experiencing difficulty conceiving subsequent children after 6-12 months of trying (depending on age), seek a fertility evaluation, just as you would for primary infertility.

Myth 6: Specific ‘Fertility Foods’ or Sexual Positions Guarantee Conception.

• The Myth: “Eating pineapple core after ovulation helps implantation,” or “Using this specific position during sex will ensure pregnancy.”
• The Facts: While a generally healthy, balanced diet supports overall reproductive health for both partners, there’s no scientific evidence supporting specific ‘miracle foods’ that dramatically boost fertility or guarantee conception. Similarly, no particular sexual position has been proven to increase pregnancy chances for couples without specific anatomical issues. Sperm are effective swimmers! Lying down briefly after intercourse is harmless but not essential.
• The Harm: Can lead couples to focus on ineffective or unproven strategies, spend money on fad diets or products, and potentially delay seeking evidence-based medical advice for genuine underlying issues.
• The Correct Approach: Focus on maintaining a consistently healthy and balanced diet and lifestyle. Enjoy intimacy without feeling pressured into specific positions believed to aid conception. Base decisions on scientific evidence.

Myth 7: IVF is the Only Treatment Option for Infertility.

• The Myth: “If we need help, it means we have to go straight to IVF.”
• The Facts: IVF (In Vitro Fertilisation) is a powerful and effective advanced treatment, but it is not the only, nor always the first, option. Many causes of Infertility in Men and Women can be addressed successfully with simpler treatments depending on the diagnosis. These include:
  • Lifestyle changes (weight management, quitting smoking).
  • Medications to induce ovulation (for conditions like PCOS).
  • Surgery to correct anatomical problems (e.g., removing fibroids, repairing varicoceles).
  • Intrauterine Insemination (IUI), a less complex procedure than IVF.
• The Harm: The perception that IVF is the only route can feel overwhelming, financially daunting, and emotionally intimidating, possibly preventing couples from seeking any fertility help.
• The Correct Approach: A thorough evaluation leads to a personalised treatment plan. At Borneo Hospital, we follow a step-wise approach, recommending the simplest effective treatment appropriate for the couple’s specific diagnosis first.

Myth 8: Infertility is a Punishment or Due to ‘Karma’/Past Sins.

• The Myth: “We are facing difficulty conceiving because of something bad we did / bad luck / a curse.”
• The Facts: Absolutely False and Harmful. Infertility is a medical condition with identifiable (or sometimes complex) biological causes related to hormones, anatomy, genetics, or underlying health issues. It has nothing to do with a person’s character, past actions, religious merit, or ‘karma’. Attributing medical conditions to such factors is scientifically baseless.
• The Harm: This myth perpetuates immense guilt, shame, social stigma, and self-blame. It tragically prevents many couples from seeking necessary medical help, sometimes leading them towards exploitative or ineffective traditional ‘remedies’.
• The Correct Approach: Understand infertility as a health condition requiring compassionate medical investigation and evidence-based care. Separate personal worth and spiritual beliefs from biological health realities. Seek help from qualified medical professionals.

Myth 9: Adopting a Baby or Just ‘Stopping Trying’ Will Make You Pregnant.

• The Myth: “My friend stopped all treatment / adopted a child, and then suddenly got pregnant naturally!”
• The Facts: While such stories exist, they are typically coincidences. There is no scientific evidence to suggest that adoption or simply deciding to ‘stop trying’ magically cures underlying infertility. Sometimes, reduced stress might play a very minor role if stress was subtly affecting cycles, or it could simply be chance conception occurring after a long time. It is not a reliable strategy for overcoming significant fertility barriers.
• The Harm: Gives couples false hope based on anecdotes, potentially discouraging them from pursuing effective medical treatments or making realistic decisions about other family-building options like adoption (which should be pursued for its own merits).
• Correct Approach: Base decisions about fertility treatment and family building on medical advice, realistic probabilities, and personal readiness, not on coincidental stories.

The Importance of Accurate Information & Professional Help

Navigating the world of fertility information requires discernment.

1. Choose Reliable Sources:

Get your information from qualified healthcare professionals (your doctor, fertility specialists at Borneo Hospital), reputable medical websites, and established patient advocacy organisations.

2. Challenge Misinformation:

Be critical of advice from non-medical sources, online forums without moderation, or products promising ‘miracle cures’. Relying on myths can waste valuable time, emotional energy, and financial resources, and sometimes even cause harm.

3. Talk to Us:

Openly discussing your concerns and any ‘advice’ you’ve heard with your doctor at Borneo Hospital allows us to provide you with personalised, factual information relevant to your situation.

Myths and misinformation surrounding infertility can create significant barriers to understanding, seeking help, and coping effectively. Hopefully, this exploration of common misconceptions helps achieve “Infertility Debunked” for you, replacing fear and shame with clarity and empowerment.

Remember the key facts: infertility affects both men and women; stress is rarely the primary cause; age can impact both partners; secondary infertility is real; lifestyle matters but isn’t a magic bullet; and effective treatments range from simple to advanced. Most importantly, infertility is a medical condition deserving of compassionate, evidence-based care, free from stigma or blame.

If you are facing challenges conceiving, please seek a timely and comprehensive medical evaluation for both partners. At Borneo Hospital, we are committed to providing accurate information, thorough diagnostics, personalised treatment plans, and supportive care throughout your fertility journey.